The following is a true story
When a teacher at my elementary school asked me questions about “what’s wrong?” and I answered her questions honestly about the years of abuse going on at my home, little did I know how explosive this was! My elementary school was in the same county school system where my abusive parent was employed as the principal of another school and “somehow” my abusive parent was notified about what I disclosed to my teacher before the police were notified. And I was not removed from my abuser’s custody, ever.
I find it interesting that the same elementary school teacher who wanted to know “what’s wrong?” never said another word to me about it – for the rest of the week, month, entire school year. Did she forget? Or was something more sinister stopping her?
So there I was, a young child, defenseless and living in the home of a narcissistic abuser who had little compassion, and who was now enraged at me because his sexual and emotional abuse was no longer “our secret” and therefore his career working with children in the school system, along with his personal liberties as a free citizen, were now at risk. Try to imagine how I was treated from then on.
When I finally was interviewed at school several days later by child protective services, my abuser had already destroyed any chance of me repeating what I told my teacher about the abuse. So when officials from child protective services came to school to interview me, they took me into a private room with people I had never met before – and all I could think of was my abuser’s recent threats. I was absolutely petrified to answer their questions. All I could do was tremble. My sister didn’t even know, nor my best childhood friend, until five decades later (50 years) – that is how far in he “stuffed my cork,” causing me to have repressed traumatic memories, hidden from my own consciousness which became the undiagnosed cause of problems throughout my life.
The heinous physical and mental abuse that ensued throughout the rest of my childhood was inescapable, at times unbearable, and extremely harmful. It only happened when no one else was around to witness. When others were around you would have thought my abuser was a “politician during an election.” But when it was just him and me alone, it was horrific. How horrific? – Later that same year after I told my teacher about the abuse – the very first night that my abuser and I were home alone together all night – he killed me – and then resuscitated me back to life. That’s what I mean by horrific.
I had one parent who wanted me dead and the other parent who couldn’t live without me, and even endured similar abuse as me just to keep her family together.
I went through some emotions while regaining access to those long lost memories, and I know I wasn’t the only one. So I want to provide the following information for anyone who would like some help with past or present abuse.
Here are links to four good sites with helpful information.
- Survivors of Abuse
- Help for Adult Victims of Childhood Abuse
- Common Questions Asked by People Healing from Narcissistic Abuse
- Seven Ways to Help a Child Heal from Trauma
Sometimes an abusive situation evolves into a life-threatening emergency. If you or someone you know is in danger, please call 911 or your local law enforcement.
- Childhelp National Child Abuse Hotline: 1-800-422-4453
- National Domestic Violence Hotline: 1-800-799-7233
- National Sexual Assault Hotline: 1-800-656-4673
- Individual states have local child abuse hotlines, too USA
Internationally – I want to compile helpful resources for as many countries within our readership as possible. Currently 65 countries as of mid year 2019, you can see the complete list below in this post. If you can help me with information for any of these countries, please email it to me at firstname.lastname@example.org
www.BibleGateway.com – is a great resource for looking things up in the Bible. You can search the entire Bible in seconds for keywords. You can even listen if you don’t feel like reading. And it’s all free.
I also want to speak to the heart of anyone who is causing a child to suffer abuse. I wish I could have said this to my abuser but since that is no longer possible, I will give this to God so that Jesus can use it for his own purpose on a global scale through this website, ThereYouAreJesus.com. If you know of active abuse, please give the following message to the abuser.
“The coverup of a crime can be far worse than the crime itself. Realize, that you do not have to destroy your victim to eliminate the problem you created. You do not have to do things that destabilize and delegitimize your victim’s memory in case your victim starts reporting on you. You can eliminate your problem in a constructive fashion, rather than destructive, by having an honest conversation with your victim, explaining your mistake and helping your victim heal. You will be helping yourself heal in the process. And saving yourself, and your victim from a future filled with debilitating stress and PTSD Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. Realize the harm being caused to all parties, mentally commit to stopping the abuse and begin the process of undoing the mess, starting right now.”
I pray this lesson I have learned can successfully detoxify at least one abusive relationship.
I want to use my experiences to improve society’s detection of abuse and protection of innocence in the following ways:
Doing everything I can to bring about the rescue of children who are suffering helplessly in heinous and chronic child abuse that goes un-noticed by society because the child’s abuser “keeps it hidden.”
Describing what to look for when a person of trust within a child’s life, such as one of the parents, becomes motivated to: (a) kill the child; or (b) erase the child’s memory.
Explaining why a person of trust would do this to a child. Motivations such as the child remembering criminal abuse by the “person of trust” that would cause this person to be arrested, if discovered by law enforcement authorities.
Explaining what you should do, and should not do, from the abused-child’s perspective. For example, on the same day the abuse is reported by a child ( to a teacher, policeman, etc ) make sure law enforcement, or their designated governmental agency, removes the child from the abuser’s home and into protective custody. Thereby preventing the accused-abuser from any contact whatsoever with the child at least until after an investigation is conducted.
This part is critical → the person identified by a child as abusive can not be allowed any further contact with the child – until authorities interview the child to obtain the truth.
Here is the reason → in my case, when I disclosed abuse to my teacher at elementary school, my abuser was immediately tipped-off that police had to be notified. Thereby enabling my abuser to (1) leave his work at another school early, (2) to be waiting for me at home when I returned from school, and of course (3) no one else was around
Need I say more? Suffice to say, I was silenced by my abuser.
This Must be Added to Federal and State Law → An immediate and mandatory restraining order – separating the child from the person accused of abuse – needs to be automatically implemented – before the child leaves the location where abuse is disclosed – thereby protecting the child and the evidence from being “tampered with” by the accused abuser – until after law enforcement interviews the child to obtain the truth.
John, Member of ThereYouAreJesus.com LLC
Child Abuse is a Crime
Criminal Penalties for Child Abusers
Criminal Penalties for “Not Reporting” Child Abuse
As you can see by clicking the two links above, plenty of laws already exist that are intended to rescue children from abusive situations. Yet with all of these well-written laws – child abuse still exists.
My contribution to God, so far as child abuse is concerned, is to expose loopholes that allow for child abuse to continue. Loopholes such as when a witness is employed in a profession that is legally required to report child abuse, but simply chooses not to report it, because the witness works with the abuser and doesn’t want their own job to be affected.
Know anybody like this?
If a child discloses to you that they are being abused – do you know what to do?
How to Help an Abused Child who Discloses the Abuse to You
What is Psychological Abuse of a Child?
Four Major Types of Child Abuse