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Hi and welcome back to ThereYouAreJesus. There is so much information to get to but for this particular post, I need to explain more about the “elephant that has entered the room” as a result of my rather unbelievable announcement in the most recent post. The information revealed in the post dated 5/31/2019 is shocking and hard to believe for anybody, but especially for those who think they knew my one abusive parent. I did not have two abusive parents but I did have one, and I am not going to publish his name and my purpose is not to hold him accountable for what happened. I have forgiven him in my heart the same way I pray Jesus Christ forgives me for my sins against God, which is complete and everlasting forgiveness.
My purpose for offering these details to you is because of the words I was saying in the 2013 prayer that Jesus ratified into an agreement by appearing inside of that prayer, which is the origin of this website. Since that ratification, I have considered myself to be working for God, because that is the essence of what I was praying for when Jesus appeared. In light of this I think the question is, “How could I not work with what God gives me?”
In the 5/31/19 post, I previewed a recent and major development that fits so perfectly into the puzzle of evidence compiling on TYAJesus, that it answers questions created-by the sheer volume of evidence compiled. Such as, “why do I get to witness all of this evidence of God’s presence when you seem surprised and somewhat in disbelief?”
Relevant content from the 5/31-post has been added to the bottom ↓ of this 6/30-post, for convenience.
And at the same time, this recent development – complicates things – because it happened long before TYAJesus.com existed, by almost fifty years (50).
So to minimize confusion, let’s start with an update to the timeline.
- 2013 September 29 – visual miracle by Jesus that interrupted a unique prayer I was saying, thereby ratifying that prayer into an actual agreement between Jesus and me.
- 2014 November 12 – launched this website at 11:12 am by publishing the first post, which was about the visual miracle.
- 2014 through 2019 (as of 6/30/19) – a continuous flow of coincidences have been happening with a total of 61 now published on this site.
- 2019 April through May – I regained “conscious access” to “unconscious,” repressed traumatic memories from childhood 1960’s that have been hidden for five decades, until now.
The transition of these memories from un-conscious to conscious was triggered by watching an interview with someone who died as a child during emergency surgery and came back to life with detailed memory of a brief visit in heaven during his surgery on earth.
For example, he came through the surgery with knowledge he did not have before the surgery. Such as having met his unborn sister who died in the womb five years before he was born. And many more fascinating details. His story was made into a book and movie, called Heaven is for Real and also a book titled Heaven Changes Everything. Both of which are linked on the right column of the homepage of TYAJesus – under Books, Shows, & Sites.
His name is Colton Burpo. For the purpose of this timeline, my point is that Colton came back from heaven in the early 2000’s, using the same exact words that I said to my mom in the 1960’s, several days after my suffocation and tour of heaven that ended abruptly when the person who suffocated me – resuscitated me – back to life here on earth.
Instantly I was back in my body and opened my eyes to see my abuser throwing punches on the left side of my chest, making my body bounce on the bed springs. He saw my eyes open and said, “are you alive?” I responded “yeah” and he disappeared. I was immediately back to sleep until morning, because of a pill he had me take earlier in the evening to “help me sleep.”
Contrary to what I wrote in the 5/31/19 post, I have decided to begin releasing details of the newly regained traumatic memories, before compiling the corroborating evidence to support my claims. The reasons are (1) I know they are true, (2) Jesus knows they are true, and (3) there are lessons that can be learned from these memories and sharing any lesson I learn from God is one of my agreements that Jesus ratified in 2013 by appearing during my prayer.
At the same time, I will update this post with corroborating evidence such as interviews, as they become available. This way I can move forward with what God wants from me, which is to share what I learn and provide him with a connection to you.
By the way – right here might be a good time to let you know that my posts here on TYAJesus.com continue to be developed long after they publish. For example, my last post looks completely different on 6/30/2019 then it did when it published a month ago on 5/31/2019. So you may want to check back on some posts for any updates because subscribers receive an email notification when evidence publishes, but not for updates.
Here is where I am going to elaborate on some details of these recently-regained memories that have been repressed into my subconscious for about 50 years. Are you ready for this? Because I’m not sure I am, but here we go – and I call on Jesus Christ to be my witness of these events.
It was very rare that I was home alone – for the entire night – with only my one abusive parent, and he did not waste the opportunity.
That night – I was drugged, suffocated to death, and immediately taken on a narrated tour of heaven, which ended abruptly when I was resuscitated back into my human body by my abuser, who was punching me on the left side of my chest, directly over the heart. His way of administering CPR, I guess.
At bedtime – he would not let me sleep on my own bed or even in my own bedroom and would not explain why. Instead, he had me sleep in another bedroom but not on that bed either. He had me sleep on a temporary mattress. He handed me a pill to take and I asked what it was. He said it will “help me sleep” and he made sure I swallowed it. I was very worried because of these actions combined with his previous threats of killing me for telling my elementary school teacher about his sexual and emotional abuse.
But I took the pill and I slept on the fold up bed. My death began by me waking up to hands covering my face, pressing my head into the mattress, and preventing me from breathing.
I struggled and tried removing the hands by grabbing the wrists and recognized whose hands they were while holding his wrists. I then relaxed my efforts to escape.
I immediately felt a sensation of “moving very fast” with a voice audibly telling me I was being taken to see God.
I got a quick tour of heaven with a voice narrating what I was seeing. I saw what is called the “Throne room” which looked like a glass room that enclosed a “small universe” with an interesting arrangement of miniature stars, overlooking what appeared to be a “sea of glass,” and was told “this is God.” The optics were perfectly clear.
Next I was shown a large door frame with a person standing in front of the closed door who looked like the pictures I had seen of Jesus. I asked if that is who it was and was told “No, would you like to see Jesus?” I said yes, and after a slight pause another person replaced the first one I saw. This second person looked very similar to the first, except for highly visible red marks on his bare hands and feet. Both of the people wore a white robe and had long dark hair but the second person had these four red marks. I asked about the red marks and was told “those are his markers.”
As I looked at him he was looking back at me, saying nothing.
Suddenly everything disappeared and I was immediately back in my human body, laying on the bed with my abuser throwing punches into my chest, causing me to bounce on the mattress springs.
As he saw my eyes open he said “Are you alive?” I responded “yeah” and he immediately disappeared and I was right back asleep because of the drug he had given me earlier that evening.
Waking up in the morning, I tried getting out of bed as normal but was unable to move.
I was feeling a lot of soreness on the left side of my chest from him punching me back to life.
I slowly rolled out of bed and flat on the floor. Laying there with my eyes open, looking at the carpet. I eventually got up on all fours (hands and knees) and tried standing up but was unable to keep my balance and ran straight into a wall.
He apparently heard the commotion and was waiting right at my door when I came out of the room. He said one thing, “How do you feel?”
I replied “fine” almost defiantly because at that point I still remembered what had just happened the night before and who did it to me. I was too young to know how to confront him about it though.
He asked me two more times throughout the day, “How do you feel now?” and I opened up a little more by saying “I didn’t feel so good this morning but I’m better now.”
The rest of my family returned home later that day.
The next day, walking down the hall with my abuser, he said to me “I’ll tell you one thing, you’re a tough little guy” and made me feel “proud.” It was as if he was impressed with me.
Within a couple days after that, I tried telling my other parent that “Jesus has markers.” She said “Jesus has what?” I repeated and she said “Where?” I showed her hands and feet and she said “No those aren’t markers, Jesus was crucified.”
When you are as young as I was and one of your parents say “No” then that’s all there is to it. Even though I knew I was right, her saying no is probably one of the reasons that memory could become repressed into my subconscious. That combined with the extreme Gaslighting done by my other parent, the abusive one, throughout the remainder of my childhood and on into high school through graduation.
Gaslighting is a form of psychological manipulation in which a person seeks to sow seeds of doubt in a targeted individual, making them question their own memory, perception, and sanity. Using persistent denial, misdirection, contradiction, and lying, gaslighting involves attempts to destabilize the victim and thereby delegitimize the victim’s memory and beliefs. Instances range from the denial by an abuser that previous abusive incidents ever occurred, to the staging of bizarre events by the abuser with intent to disorient the victim.
I am posting these facts because God gave them to me in 2019 whereas I began working for him in 2013. My purpose is no longer for myself or for what people might think. My purpose since 2013 is to let God use my experiences and my skills for his own purposes, and as of 6 years later, 2019, it appears God’s purpose for me includes fighting child abuse.
So why is it I feel I began working for God in 2013?
Here’s why → The following image is an attempt to recreate the colors and black silhouette of Jesus that visibly entered my prayer in 2013 in which I was asking Jesus to come into my life, take over, and I will use my life and skills for his purposes, no longer my own. This scene came together in a sequence of events like a short silent movie, with the white portal appearing first, then the moving colors began rising from the portal, and the black silhouette of Jesus was the final image to complete this scene.
Can you see why this vision felt like the ratification of an agreement?
It was when Jesus appeared at the grand finale of this visual sequence that I made the comment, “There you are!” which became the name of our website where I share what I learn while providing Jesus with a connection to you. Jesus and you, are the heart and soul of ThereYouAreJesus.com, also known as TYAJesus.com.
Now in 2019, with those repressed traumatic memories from my 1960’s-childhood coming back into the forefront of my consciousness again – it is easy to see that my close relationship with Jesus Christ began long before the vision of 2013 that gave birth to this website.
I now feel that coming eye to eye with Jesus by asking for him during my temporary death in childhood – is as meaningful to Jesus as it is to me. I wonder what Jesus was thinking as our eye to eye contact was interrupted by my abuser resuscitating me back to life in my human body. Maybe one day he will tell me.
How many people that you know get to write about their own death, in detail and apply what they learn to the rest of their life on earth, as well as share it with the world on a website? Well it took 50 years, but this is where I now am. John Levay 2019 with God as my witness, amen.
While I’m thinking about it, another comparison I want to explore sometime are the two times I got to see Jesus – because both times ended abruptly. In 2013, when our Priest resumed the church service following Holy Communion, I opened my eyes ever so briefly which caused the vision of Jesus to disappear. Now in 2019, as I regain conscious access to the detailed memories of my temporary death in childhood 1960’s, I realize that vision of Jesus during my temporary death was interrupted too, when my human body was resuscitated back to life.
I credit the Burpo family – Colton, Todd, and Sonya Burpo – who are the family members portrayed in the movie Heaven is for Real. I credit them for enabling me to regain conscious access to my unconscious memories. I had been researching the intensity of prayers that motivate Jesus into immediate action for a post I was writing when I ran across their interviews, which are also linked on the right side of TYAJesus homepage under Books, Shows & Sites. The words Colton used while describing his visit to heaven – “markers” and “throne room” – are the exact same words I heard during my tour, and are the same ones I was telling my mother when she replied “No those aren’t markers, Jesus was crucified.”
I didn’t argue with her back then but now, 50 years later, I hear the same words being used by another person who temporarily visited heaven. That joggled my mind enough to eventually enable all of repressed memories from childhood to find their way back into the forefront of my consciousness again. Thank you to the Burpo’s. Thank you so very much! And I am here to corroborate your story as portrayed in Heaven is for Real.
Because of how pivotal this memory is in corroborating all of the other evidence on this website, I am giving this post “BreakThrough” a place of its own, right on the main menu of the homepage for TYAJesus, alongside the silent visual miracle of 2013 which is the genesis of this website. Here’s why – Not only does it corroborate the continuous flow of evidence ever since the visual miracle 2013, it also corroborates his visual miracle – and answers the question “why my prayer and not yours?”
Now, it makes sense – I have already had the pleasure of coming eye to eye with Jesus between suffocation and resuscitation. And me asking for Jesus apparently means as much to him – as it does to me. I can feel his love as enduring and endless. This realization makes me feel so grateful, and to share this with you, is an honor.
One last thing – in the most recent post dated 5/31/2019 – I said the following
There is an interesting distinction between the two appearances by Jesus that is accurately described in the Bible. I will explain this in my next post, coming June 30, 2019.
Here is where I explain the distinction
The two times I have seen Jesus are not similar at all. For example:
2013 – Jesus appeared inside of my prayer as a black silhouette, hovering above a white portal with multiple colors rising from the portal towards the black silhouette of Jesus.
As a black silhouette I could not actually see his features at all, other than the outline of his black silhouette in front of a light blue background. So he was “unseen” when I saw him, while my human body was alive on earth.
1960’s – during the brief time I was dead, between the suffocation and the resuscitation, Jesus appeared in the flesh as human and in living color. I could see his eyes, face, hair, a white robe, and most notably, large red marks on his hands and feet, apparently caused by his crucifixion.
In that case, while my human body was temporarily dead but my spiritual body remained alive, with vision and literally at heaven’s door → Jesus appeared to me as human and in living color, just like you and me. So he was “seen” when I saw him, while my human body was temporarily dead on earth but my spiritual body was taken to “see God.”
The distinction between him appearing as (1) a black silhouette, and (2) in living color, is dependent upon whether my human body was (1) alive, or (2) dead, when he appeared in my vision.
Now, compare that distinction with what is written in the Christian Bible.
So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen, since what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal. – 2 Corinthians 4:18 NIV
That one bible verse seems to apply to a lot of the evidence compiling here on TYAJesus.
That is all for now, but I will be adding more information to this post in the coming days.
Thank you, I can only guess what you are thinking right now. But please know that I feel good to be honoring my agreement with Jesus, no matter how unbelievable it may seem from the temporary earthly perspective.
Sincerely, John, Member of ThereYouAreJesus.com, LLC
The Following Content ↓ from the 5/31/19-post is being Added to this 6/30/19-post ↑ because (a) this 6/30/19-post is being linked directly on the main menu of this site, www.TYAJesus.com, whereas (b) the relevant content for this one story, broke, over the course of these two different posts 5/31 & 6/30. Here is the relevant 5/31 content…
First, a major breakthrough in understanding why Jesus would enter one person’s prayer visually, but not everyone’s – and there is an actual reason. But it doesn’t involve being lucky, or chosen. It involves being un-lucky and saved. Figuring this out took (a) six years of active research, (b) regaining conscious access to an unconscious, repressed traumatic memory of a near death experience (NDE) by suffocation & resuscitation during my childhood (1960’s) some 50+ years ago, and (c) connecting the dots from that troubled childhood (1960’s) – to the content of that troubled prayer in 2013 that Jesus interrupted by appearing in celebratory fashion which created the basis for this website, ThereYouAreJesus.com.
How I stumbled upon this breakthrough
Have you ever heard of Repressed Traumatic Memories? I have learned our brains have an automatic mechanism for hiding traumatic memories from our own consciousness. Memories from childhood, for example. I have also learned it is possible for patients to regain conscious access to their unconscious memories – which I have now accomplished, at least with one traumatic memory from childhood, and Jesus Christ was very much involved in that memory when it happened.
Now, because of bringing this unconscious memory back into my consciousness, I can see clearly that “no amount of time, or repressed traumatic memory, causes Jesus to forget anything. He remembers everything, he is always present in the most unseen way, and he does visually appear for our rescue when he feels the time is right” – just as the Bible says:
18 I will not leave you as orphans; I will come to you. 19 Before long, the world will not see me anymore, but you will see me. Because I live, you also will live. 20 On that day you will realize that I am in my Father, and you are in me, and I am in you.
Quote from Jesus as written in the Book of John 14:18-20, Christian Bible, NIV
There is a prerequisite for this kind of relationship with Jesus. You first have to connect with Jesus. How? Simply by trying. Start within yourself, begin speaking to him with your thoughts and mean what you say. If he sees you are serious, he will start communicating with you, most likely through coincidences. Respond to his coincidences to establish two way communications – and watch your relationship with Jesus grow from there. Jesus is capable of thrilling you.
I wish I could just tell you the full story of this traumatic childhood memory right now. It would certainly be easier than compiling corroborating evidence first. But you are going to want corroborating evidence for this one. Some of which is from 50 years ago, and some involves interviews with people who may or may not want to be interviewed. So, we’ll see, but this story is coming out one way or another. I’m estimating within a year’s timeframe. Hopefully a lot sooner, but we’ll see. I am however going to give you a preview of the full story, right here in this post.
My reasons for going through this process publicly, do not include holding those responsible for what happened to me accountable, or dragging anybody’s name through the mud. I will not use my abuser’s name and will only refer to him as my “abuser.” Instead, I want to use my experiences to improve society’s protection of innocence in the following ways:
- Doing everything I can to bring about the rescue of children who are suffering helplessly in heinous and chronic child abuse that goes un-noticed by society because the child’s abuser “keeps it hidden.”
- Describing what to look for when a person of trust within a child’s life, such as one of the parents, becomes motivated to: (a) kill the child; or (b) erase the child’s memory.
- Explaining why a person of trust would do this to a child. Motivations such as the child remembering criminal abuse by the “person of trust” that would cause this person to be arrested, if discovered by law enforcement authorities.
- Explaining what you should do, and not do, from the abused-child’s perspective, when you see a chronically abusive relationship. For example, on the same day the abuse is reported ( to school, law enforcement, etc ) make sure law enforcement, or their designated governmental agency, removes the child from the abuser’s home and into protective custody. The same day if not before. Not only to protect the child from the abuser’s retaliation at home, but also to protect the evidence, which may only be the child’s willingness to testify. At least until after an investigation.
The following is a true story
When a teacher at my elementary school asked me questions about “what’s wrong?” and I answered her questions honestly about the years of abuse going on at my home, little did I know how explosive this was! My elementary school was in the same county school system where my abusive parent was employed as the principal of another school and “somehow” my abusive parent was notified about what I disclosed to my teacher before the police were notified. And I was not removed from my abuser’s custody, ever.
I find it quite telling that the same elementary school teacher who acquired details of abuse from me by asking “what’s wrong?” – never said another word about it, for the rest of the week, month, entire school year. Hmmm, did she forget? Or was something more sinister stopping her?
So there I was, a young child, defenseless and living in the home of a narcissistic abuser who had little compassion, and who was now enraged at me because his sexual and emotional abuse was no longer “our secret” and therefore his career working with children in the school system, along with his personal liberties as a free citizen, were now at risk. Try to imagine what began happening to me as a result.
When I finally was interviewed at school several days later by child protective services, who took me into a private room with people I had never met before – I was absolutely petrified to answer their questions. All I could do was tremble. My sister didn’t even know, nor my best childhood friend, until five decades later (50 years) – that is how far in he “stuffed my cork,” causing me to have repressed traumatic memories, hidden from my own consciousness which became the undiagnosed cause of problems throughout my life.
The heinous physical and mental abuse that ensued throughout the rest of my childhood was inescapable, at times unbearable, and extremely harmful. It only happened when no one else was around to witness. When others were around you would have thought my abuser was a “politician during an election.” But when it was just him and me alone, it was horrific.
What do I mean by horrific? Here is an example.. Later that year after I told my teacher about the abuse, during the first full night that it was just my abusive parent and me at home, alone – he killed me – and then resuscitated me back to life.
I had one parent who wanted me dead and the other parent who couldn’t live without me, and even endured similar abuse as me just to keep her family together.
Child Abuse is a Crime
Criminal Penalties for Child Abusers
Criminal Penalties for “Not Reporting” Child Abuse
As you can see by clicking the two links above, plenty of laws already exist that are intended to rescue children from abusive situations. Yet with all of these well-written laws we have in place – child abuse still exists
My contribution to God, so far as child abuse is concerned, is to expose loopholes that allow for child abuse to chronically exist. Loopholes such as when a witness to the abuse is employed in a profession that is legally required to report child abuse, but simply chooses not to report it, because the witness works with the abuser and doesn’t want their own job to be affected.
Know anybody like this?
If a child discloses to you that they are being abused – do you know what to do?
How to Help an Abused Child who Discloses to You
What is Psychological Abuse of a Child?
Four Major Types of Child Abuse
Getting back to the story of how regaining conscious access (2019) to an unconscious repressed traumatic memory from childhood (1960’s) has enabled me to finally understand exactly why Jesus literally-appeared inside of my desperate prayer (2013).
There are two common denominators in both the 1960’s event and the 2013 event – and those two common denominators are (1) the same abusive parent, still present and still abusive; and (2) Jesus Christ, visibly present to greet me both times.
There is an interesting distinction between the two appearances by Jesus that is accurately described in the Bible. I will explain this in my next post, coming June 30, 2019.
The same abusive parent who (a) suffocated me to death in the 1960’s, and then resuscitated me back to life moments later, presumably in hopes of erasing my memory of his sexual abuse that therefore threatened his career and liberty – is (b) the very same abusive parent who in 2013, drove me to the point of saying that intense/desperate/pleading prayer that Jesus chose to enter visually. This is why I now understand that “my close relationship with Jesus Christ is not because I am lucky or chosen. It is because I was un-lucky and Jesus saved me.” My God, thank you Jesus.
These realizations are good news for you too – here’s why.. because if Jesus appeared for me when I truly needed him – twice now – he will also show up for you, if you let him. How do you let him? By letting him know, how you feel in your heart. Not just words, but true feelings.
My abuser died in 2016. I sincerely pray that God has forgiven him, removed his sinful behaviors, and restored him to child-like innocence so he can be a person of love, amen.
I personally forgive my abuser for every way in which he sinned against me. The same way I pray my Lord forgives me for my sins against him. Forgiving does not require forgetting, however. It only requires forgiving. Remembering how he got away with his abusive ways enables me now to contribute improvements for our system of social policies that are intended to rescue chronically abused children.
I have read that Jesus wants us to “use our pain to help others.” Redemptive Pain, as it is described is the highest and best use of any pain we go through. God wants us to (a) find the good that can be learned from the pain we endure, and (b) use that good to help others. This is one of the ways we can partner with our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ.
“God comforts us in all our troubles so that we can comfort others. When they are troubled, we will be able to give them the same comfort God has given us.” 2 Corinthians 1:4 NLT
The following ↓ is evidence of Jesus communicating with us through a coincidence regarding the 5/31/19 content above ↑
The state government where I live is requiring everyone to verify our address by providing a utility bill (such as electric power) that shows our service address. My sister and I share the bills for properties we own and she files them. So I needed her to send me the latest bill.
At the same time that this need for address verification is going on, I have also told my sister about my progress regaining access to a memory that had been repressed for over five (5) decades. And, like most-everyone will be, she was shocked by what I now remember, in detail.
Here is my point – The following is an example of how Jesus can communicate with us through the everyday-things in our lives, such as utility bills.
My sister simply sent the most recent utility bill currently due without looking at it. But when I received it, the first thing I saw was the number-signature that Jesus and I use for each other when sending coincidences, which is my date of birth, November 12th (11/12)
Let me give you two (of many) examples of how I have sent coincidences to Jesus using our number-signature: I launched this website on November 12th (11/12) of 2014 by publishing the first post at exactly 11:12 (am/morning) – demonstrating to Jesus that I was beginning to understand his language of coincidence; I also published this post you are now reading at 11:12 (pm/night) in 2019.
Compare those two with the following example of how Jesus responds using the very same number-signature (11,12). On the utility bill (below) that my sister sent to prove my address, look at the numbers that happen to be the Total Amount Due (circled in red).
Jesus added his own communication to the utility bill my sister sent for proving my address. The timing of his coincidental communication was perfect because my sister was in shock about my newly regained traumatic memory. And relevant, because Jesus is not only my God, he was also personally involved in the very same traumatic memory when it happened back in my childhood (1960’s). By sending this coincidence of his signature appearing for both my sister and I, Jesus provided corroborating evidence to help assure my sister about the truthfulness of my regained memory.
Thank you Jesus, my friend and partner on ThereYouAreJesus.com, and my Lord and Savior throughout our eternal life.
To see all of the posts about coincidences that convey two-way communications through numbers, go to my homepage/center-column and click on the category titled Modern Day Evidence with Numbers. Or, simply click here and they will open up in a new tab.
It is important for you to understand that the numbers Jesus uses as his signature for you will most-likely be different from mine. He knows you as well as you know yourself, and he will use numbers that are meaningful to you to get your attention. He also uses nature, and everyday-things in ways that can get your attention. But remember, for his communications with you to be two-way, you have to respond to Jesus. Like with a prayerful conversation, or any other way of sending a coincidence that delivers your reply to Jesus.
And if you do see my numbers 11,12 showing up in your life in some way, it could be that he is giving you a message about something you’ve read on our site, ThereYouAreJesus.com. Or, perhaps something you have not read yet. It could also be that it has nothing to do with me, but one way to find out is to think about who/what you were doing/thinking/saying when the numbers appeared. If there is a connection, that is how you will find it. Because Jesus communicates with precision timing and relevance to what is happening in our personal lives.
This concludes the content that is added from 5/31/19 post, to this 6/30/19 post. The content was added because this 6/30/19 post is being linked to the main menu of the homepage – whereas the content for this story, broke, over the course of these two different posts.
Thank you, John, Member of ThereYouAreJesus.com, LLC