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Hi and welcome back to ThereYouAreJesus. There is so much information to get to but for this particular post, I need to explain the taboo subject raised by my rather unbelievable announcement in the most recent post. The information revealed in the post dated 5/31/2019 is shocking and hard to believe for anybody, but especially for those who think they knew my one parent who was secretly abusive to me. I did not have two abusive parents but I did have one, and I am not going to publish his name and my purpose is not to hold him accountable for what happened. I have forgiven him in my heart the same way I pray Jesus Christ forgives me for my sins against God, which is complete and everlasting forgiveness.
My purpose for offering these details to you is because of the words I was saying in the 2013 prayer that Jesus ratified into an agreement by appearing “inside of my closed-eyes during that prayer, which is the origin of this website’s name. Since his ratification, I have considered myself to be working for God, because that is the essence of what I was praying for when Jesus appeared. In light of this, the question is not “How could I?” The question is “How could I not work with what God gives me?”
In the 5/31/19 post, I previewed a recent and major development that fits so perfectly into the puzzle of evidence compiling on TYAJesus, that it answers questions created-by the sheer volume of evidence compiled. Such as, “why do I get to witness all of this evidence of God’s presence when you seem surprised and somewhat in disbelief?”
And at the same time, this recent development – complicates things – because it happened long before TYAJesus.com existed, by almost fifty years (50).
So to minimize confusion, let’s start with an update to the timeline.
- 2013 September 29 – visual miracle by Jesus that interrupted a unique prayer I was saying, thereby ratifying that prayer into an actual agreement between Jesus and me.
- 2014 November 12 – launched this website at 11:12 am by publishing the first post, which was about the visual miracle.
- 2014 through 2019 (as of 6/30/19) – a continuous flow of coincidences have been happening with a total of 61 now published on this site.
- 2019 April through May – I regained “conscious access” to “unconscious,” repressed traumatic memories from childhood 1960’s that have been hidden for five decades, until now.
The transition of these memories from un-conscious to conscious was triggered by watching an interview with someone who died as a child during emergency surgery and came back to life with detailed memory of a brief visit in heaven during his surgery on earth.
For example, he came through the surgery with knowledge he did not have before the surgery. Such as having met his unborn sister who died in the womb five years before Colton was born, which his mom had not told him about. And many more fascinating details. His story was made into a book and movie, called Heaven is for Real and also a book titled Heaven Changes Everything. Both of which are linked on the right column of the homepage of TYAJesus – under Books, Shows, & Sites.
His name is Colton Burpo. For the purpose of this timeline for TYAJesus, my point is that Colton came back from heaven in the early 2000’s, using the same exact words that I said to my mom in the 1960’s, several days after my suffocation and tour of heaven that ended abruptly when the person who suffocated me – resuscitated me – back to life here on earth.
Contrary to what I wrote in the 5/31/19 post, I have decided to begin releasing details of the newly regained traumatic memories, before compiling the corroborating evidence to support my claims. The reasons are (1) I know they are true, (2) Jesus knows they are true, and (3) there are lessons that can be learned from these memories and sharing any lesson I learn from God is one of my agreements that Jesus ratified in 2013 by appearing during my prayer.
At the same time, I will update this post with corroborating evidence such as interviews, as they become available. This way I can move forward with what God wants from me, which is to share what I learn and provide him with a connection to you.
By the way – right here might be a good time to let you know that my posts here on TYAJesus.com continue to be developed long after they publish. For example, my last post looks completely different on 6/30/2019 then it did when it published a month ago on 5/31/2019. So you may want to check back on some posts for any updates because subscribers receive an email notification when evidence publishes, but not for updates.
The following is true and details my temporary death and resuscitation at the hands of my abusive father.
As a result of regaining access to those repressed traumatic memories of my temporary death, I now remember everything that happened (1) prior, during, and after my suffocation and (2) prior, during, and after my resuscitation. These recently-regained memories had been repressed into my subconscious for about 50 years ( since the 1960’s ), until now ( 2019 ). I regained them within several months after watching an interview with another child who died during an emergency surgery, interacted with people in heaven, and then returned to his body on the operating table: Colton Burpo who is portrayed in the movie “Heaven is for Real.” Specifically, it was two of the words he brought back from heaven in 2003 that were the same words I brought back from heaven in the 1960’s – which are (1) Throne room, and (2) Markers. Those words are the one and only catalyst that enabled me to pull those repressed traumatic memories from deep within my subconscious, back into the forefront of my consciousness.
Are you ready for this? Because I’m not sure I am, but here we go – and I call on Jesus Christ to be my witness of these events.
It was very rare that I was home alone – for the entire night – with only my one abusive parent, and he did not waste the opportunity.
That night – I was drugged, suffocated to death, and immediately taken on a narrated tour of heaven, which ended abruptly when I was resuscitated back into my human body by my abuser, who was punching the left side of my chest directly over my heart. His way of administering CPR, I guess.
At bedtime – he would not let me sleep on my own bed or even in my own bedroom and would not explain why. Keep in mind I was a young child at the time, in fourth grade of school. Instead, he had me sleep in another bedroom but not on that bed either. He had me sleep on a temporary mattress that he placed there just for that one night, and he handed me a pill to take. I asked what it was, because he had never given me medication before. He said it will “help me sleep” and he made absolutely sure I swallowed it, by inspecting my mouth.
I was extremely worried because of these actions, combined with his previous threats of killing me for telling my elementary school teacher about his sexual and verbal abuse.
But I took the pill and I slept on the fold up bed. My death began by waking up to hands covering my face, pressing my head into the mattress with a lot of force, which prevented me from breathing.
I struggled and tried removing the hands by grabbing the wrists and recognized whose hands they were. I then relaxed my efforts to escape and waited.
Almost immediately, (1) I felt a sensation of moving, as if traveling, so I was still conscious, and (2) heard a very kind sounding male voice audibly telling me I was being “taken to see God.”
I was given a tour of two areas outside of heaven with the same voice narrating what I was seeing. I was shown what he called the “Throne room of God” which looked like a large glass enclosure containing a miniature universe of stars that were organized into an artistic fashion, overlooking what appeared to be a sea of glass, and was told “This is God.” The optics were perfectly clear, similar to the sky on a clear beautiful night, but with a much different arrangement of stars.
Next, I was shown the outside of a large door frame with a yellow glow coming from behind the door, in the distance. There was a person standing in front of the closed door who looked like the pictures I had seen of Jesus. I asked if that is who it was and was told “No, would you like to see Jesus?” I said yes, and the person standing in front of the door – walked away from it, towards my left as I faced him. Then there was a pause, like a delay as if Jesus had not planned on greeting me there at that time. I can only guess he already knew my dad’s intent to quickly resuscitate me.
But after a moment, Jesus did appear where the first person had been standing but he did not walk onto the scene the way the first person walked off the scene. Instead, he “materialized visually” right there in front of heaven’s gate and was looking down. As he finished materializing where I could see him, he looked up directly at me.
Jesus looked very similar to the first person who had been there, except (1) his eyes were more wide-open, whereas the first person’s eyes had more of a natural squint to them as if he was attempting to see me more clearly, and (2) Jesus had highly visible red marks on his bare hands and feet. Both of the people wore a white robe and had long dark hair but Jesus had these four red marks. I asked about the red marks and was told “Those are his Markers.”
As I looked at him, he was looking back at me, standing still and saying nothing.
Suddenly and abruptly everything disappeared, turned to darkness very briefly and then I was instantly back in my human body, laying on the same temporary mattress I had died on, with my killer resuscitating me back to life by throwing punches on the left side of my chest so hard that my 10 year old body was bouncing on the mattress springs.
One thing we as humans have very little knowledge of, unless we die and then come back to life, is how heavy our human body actually is, in comparison to being alive and conscious without our body.
If I had not been killed and then brought back to life, I would not have known this. We all know what it feels like wanting to lose weight. Imagine getting used to the weightlessness of your spiritual body outside of your human body and then abruptly coming back into the full weight of your human body. The difference is definitely noticeable. In particular, my arms were out of control when I regained consciousness on earth and I had to make an effort to regain control of them.
I find these details of life to death and back to life to be fascinating content for an upcoming series on TYAJesus.com. Having seen life after death once, and Jesus Christ twice, why not share the details? After all, it truly is incredibly good news for all of us!
Part of me, not all of me but part of me, is actually thankful for my dad killing me and then resuscitating me back to life on earth. Because it enabled me (1) to personally see God, (2) then Jesus (3) and heaven’s gate in the afterlife (4) which I can now share with you as testimony to the fact of God Almighty. Believe it or not, I have actually prayed a thank you prayer to Jesus and have asked him to relay it to my dad, who no longer lives on earth. Crazy as this sounds, perhaps it is a sign that I have truly forgiven my dad.
As he saw my eyes open after resuscitation, he asked “are you alive?” and seemed out of breath. I responded “yeah” and he disappeared behind the head of my bed, as I fell right back asleep because of the drug he had given me earlier in the evening to “help me sleep.”
Waking up in the morning, I tried getting out of bed and discovered I could not move.
I had not been taken for medical care after the suffocation and resuscitation and I don’t even think my blood had fully recirculated throughout my body, because I could not move my arms or legs. I was laying flat on my back and probably had not moved since he resuscitated me. I was starting to feel a lot of soreness on the left side of my chest.
Gradually I worked my left foot over to the left side of the bed and hooked the edge with my heel, which enabled me to slowly work myself out of bed and flat on the floor. Laying there with eyes open, unable to move, staring at the carpet.
Eventually I recovered enough to get up on all fours ( hands and knees ) and tried standing but was unable to keep my balance and ran straight into a wall.
He apparently heard the commotion and was waiting right outside the door when I came out of the bedroom. He said one thing, “how do you feel?”
I replied “fine” almost defiantly, because at that point I still remembered what had just happened the night before and who did it to me. I was too young to know how to confront him about it though.
He asked me two more times throughout the day, “how do you feel now?” and I opened up a little more by saying “I didn’t feel so good this morning but I’m better now.”
The rest of my family returned home later that day, but I did not tell them what he did to me because I knew they could not protect me from him.
The next day, walking down a hallway in our home with my abuser, he said to me “I’ll tell you one thing, you’re a tough little guy” and he repeated it several times, making me feel good about myself. It was as if he was impressed I survived.
Within a couple days after that, when he was alone with me, in a very nice tone of voice he asked if anyone had ever abused me – apparently checking to see if his suffocation and resuscitation was successful at erasing my memory. I answered truthfully, although fearfully, by saying “yes.” He immediately cursed and changed his demeanor by becoming very angry at me and he never let go of that anger. From then on he displayed serious hatred of my existence, whenever there was no one else around to witness. His use of the word “tough” changed completely – from a compliment – to a hammer. After he learned my memory of his abuse had survived the temporary death he put me through, he would yell at the top of his lungs “Tough!” whenever I asked him to stop being mean to me.
As I aged into high school, he was getting more careless ( alcohol ) by abusing me verbally “in front of his friends.” Sometimes even they would seriously-protest, and he would tell them “he’s tough, he can take it.” They didn’t like it, and some of them told me so in private ( God bless them! ). But they could not, or at least did not, stop him.
This is why I have added “rescuing abused children” to my work on this website for Jesus.
About one week after my temporary death, which my other parent was completely unaware of, I tried telling my other parent that “Jesus has markers.” She said “Jesus has what?” I repeated and she said “Where?” I showed her hands and feet and she said “No those aren’t markers, Jesus was crucified.”
When you are as young as I was and one of your parents say “No,” then that’s all there is to it. Even though I knew I was right, her saying no is probably one of the reasons that memory could become repressed into my subconscious. That combined with the extreme Gaslighting done by my other parent, the abusive one, throughout the remainder of my childhood and on into high school through graduation.
Gaslighting is a form of psychological manipulation in which a person seeks to sow seeds of doubt in a targeted individual, making them question their own memory, perception, and sanity. Using persistent denial, misdirection, contradiction, and lying, gaslighting involves attempts to destabilize the victim and thereby delegitimize the victim’s memory and beliefs. Instances range from the denial by an abuser that previous abusive incidents ever occurred, to the staging of bizarre events by the abuser with intent to disorient the victim.
I had one parent who wanted me dead and the other parent who couldn’t live without me, and even endured similar abuse as me just to keep her family together. She never knew that he killed me the one night she and my sister left me alone with my dad for the whole night. But I know she was worried because, before leaving, she told me in private “I hope you’re going to be alright.” I asked her not to go and she reluctantly said “she had to.” We were both very afraid of her husband.
I am posting these facts because God gave them to me in 2019 whereas I began working for God in 2013. My purpose is no longer for myself or for what people might think. My purpose since 2013 is to let God use my experiences and skill set for his own purposes. As of 6 years later, 2019, it appears “calling out hidden, domestic child abuse” is one of the callings God has for me. And I am more than happy to shed light on the shamefully complicit non-reporters of the abuse, as well.
So why is it I feel I began working for God in 2013?
Here’s why → The following image is an attempt to recreate, using video animation, the colors and black silhouette of Jesus that visibly entered my prayer in 2013. I paid thousands of dollars for the animation and have not once posted it on TYAJesus – because it falls so far short of recreating the beauty of the actual vision. However, I do use one frame of the video – because at least you can have a vague idea of how it looked – with Jesus hovering as a black silhouette above a white portal with streaming colors coming out. You just have to imagine it being many times more beautiful.
This vision appeared inside of my closed-eyes “while I was praying.” Can you see why it felt like the ratification of an agreement?
It was when Jesus appeared at the grand finale of this visual sequence that I made the comment, “There you are!” which became the name of our website where I share what I learn while providing Jesus with a connection to you. Jesus and you, are the heart and soul of ThereYouAreJesus.com, also known as TYAJesus.com.
Now in 2019, with those repressed traumatic memories from my 1960’s-childhood coming back into the forefront of my consciousness again – it is easy to see that my close relationship with Jesus Christ began long before the vision of 2013 that gave birth to this website.
Now, it makes sense → I have already had the pleasure of coming eye to eye with Jesus between my suffocation and resuscitation. It appears that by asking for him during my temporary death, and him appearing for me as requested, apparently means as much to Jesus as it does to me. I wonder what he was thinking as our eye to eye contact was interrupted by my abuser resuscitating me back to life in my human body. Maybe one day he will tell me. I hope so.
How many people that you know get to write about their own death, in detail and apply what they learn to the rest of their life on earth, as well as share it around the world? Well it took 50 years, but this is where I now am. John Levay 2019 with God as my witness, amen.
If you are not already, please realize that you can experience the feeling of God’s love every bit as much as I can. He is always at the door of our hearts, desiring to come in and fellowship with us (Revelation 3:20). It is up to us to give up the sin that separates us, and open the door to receive his love, his forgiveness and the fullness of his beautiful Holy Spirit.
While I’m thinking about it, another comparison I want to explore sometime are the two times I got to see Jesus – because both times ended abruptly. In 2013, when our Priest resumed the church service following Holy Communion, I opened my eyes ever so briefly which caused the vision of Jesus to disappear. Now in 2019, as I regain conscious access to the detailed memories of my temporary death in childhood 1960’s, I realize that vision of Jesus during my temporary death was interrupted too, when my human body was resuscitated back to life.
I credit the Burpo family – Colton, Todd, and Sonya Burpo – who are the family members portrayed in the movie Heaven is for Real. I credit them for enabling me to regain conscious access to my unconscious memories. I had been researching the intensity of prayers that motivate Jesus into immediate action for a post I was writing when I ran across their interviews, which are also linked on the right side of TYAJesus homepage under Books, Shows & Sites. The words Colton used while describing his visit to heaven – “markers” and “throne room” – are the exact same words I heard during my tour, and are the same ones I was telling my mother when she replied “No those aren’t markers, Jesus was crucified.”
I didn’t argue with her back then but now, 50 years later, I hear the same words being used by another person who temporarily visited heaven. That joggled my mind enough to eventually enable all of those repressed memories from childhood to find their way back into the forefront of my consciousness again. Thank you to the Burpo’s. Thank you so very much!
Because of how pivotal this memory is in corroborating all of the other evidence on this website, I am giving this post “BreakThrough” a place of its own, right on the main menu of the homepage for TYAJesus, alongside the silent visual miracle of 2013 which is the genesis of this website. Here’s why – not only does it corroborate all of the 60+ posts of evidence since 2013, it also answers the question “why my prayer and not yours?”
One last thing – in the most recent post dated 5/31/2019 – I said the following
There is an interesting distinction between the two appearances by Jesus that is accurately described in the Bible. I will explain this in my next post, coming June 30, 2019.
Here is where I explain the distinction
The two times I have seen Jesus are not similar at all. For example:
2013 – Jesus appeared inside of my prayer as a black silhouette, hovering above a white portal with multiple colors rising from the portal towards the black silhouette of Jesus.
As a black silhouette I could not actually see his features at all, other than the outline of his black silhouette in front of a light blue background. So he was “unseen” when I saw him, while my human body was alive on earth.
1960’s – during the brief time I was dead, between the suffocation and the resuscitation, Jesus appeared in the flesh as human and in living color. I could see his eyes, face, hair, a white robe, and most notably, large red marks on his hands and feet, caused by his crucifixion. The reason Jesus appeared while showing red marks is because I had originally asked if someone else, was Jesus.
In that case, while my human body was temporarily dead but my spiritual body remained alive, with vision and literally at heaven’s door → Jesus appeared to me as human and in living color, just like you and me. So he was “seen” when I saw him, while my human body was temporarily dead on earth but my spiritual body was taken to “see God.”
The distinction between him appearing as (1) a black silhouette (over streaming colors) and (2) in living color (human form) is dependent upon whether my human body was (1) alive, or (2) dead, when he appeared in my vision.
Now, compare that distinction with what is written in the Christian Bible.
So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen, since what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal. – 2 Corinthians 4:18 NIV
That one bible verse seems to apply to a lot of the evidence compiling here on TYAJesus.
That is all for now, but I will be adding more information to this post in the coming days.
Thank you, I can only guess what you are thinking right now. But please know that I feel good to be honoring my agreement with Jesus, no matter how unbelievable it may seem from the temporary earthly perspective.
Sincerely, John Levay, Member of ThereYouAreJesus.com, LLC